The Hope Finder

More than two weeks ago, I wrote,

If I say I only have to do something for one or two minutes, I’m more likely to start it. And if it’s something even somewhat enjoyable, I am more likely to continue doing it for more than two minutes.

This is why I am changing my goals to practice violin and blog for 15 minutes each every weekday (which has been a miserable failure) to practicing and blogging for two minutes each every weekday. I’ll let you know next week how it went.

I’m here to let you know, a week late – that habit has not yet been created! I mostly failed again. But there was some progress. There were a couple days when I told myself that I only needed to practice violin for 2 minutes, and that did help to get started. I ended up practicing for 15 minutes one day and about 30 the other. I don’t think I blogged at all, which is why this post is late!

Sometimes I know that I will go over my allotted 2 or 15 minutes and so I don’t start because I know it will take longer (I think this is often the case with blogging, and perhaps reading). So in some areas I may need to set a timer to stop what I’m doing.

I also did not attach my 2 minute habit of blogging and practicing to any triggers. I am seeing more and more the value of the trigger in this process of habit formation. So this week, my trigger for practicing will be after my mid-afternoon snack. And my trigger for blogging will be after practicing (hmm, we’ll see how this goes!)

Habit # 2: Exercise

Two weeks ago in Mystie Winckler’s Humble Habits course, the small seed habit was exercise. We were to do 1-5 exercises, attached to some trigger (other activity), and recognize our reward.

Mystie’s idea was to attach the exercise habit to going to the bathroom and washing her hands. It seems kind of weird and funny, but it is something that I do everyday so it’s a good trigger. So after I use the bathroom I try to do either 4 torso twists or 4 squats. As my reward I will take a deep breath and feel how happy my joints are!

I have done this habit more or less consistently. I did find that I needed a visual reminder, so I printed some silhouette cartoon people exercising and put those on my bathroom mirrors. It took a couple of days to accept the fact that I would have to answer the question of why the silhouette people were there. But after that humbling experience I was fine.

Habit #3: Reading

Last week’s seed habit was reading. I have been reading more, but I was excited about this one. We were supposed to read for five minutes a day, again, attaching the habit to a trigger.

The weekend before starting this habit I was at a women’s conference and was given a book by Cynthia Heald called I Have Loved You. It has short 4-5 page chapters about the heart of God the Father. I have been reading that in the mornings while I ride our exercise bike. I love being able to exercise my body and mind while feeding my soul too!

Looking Ahead

This week’s seed habit is self-talk. This will require a little more thought. But I’m really glad for the chance to think more deeply about the messages I send myself and to reflect on how to intentionally speak truth to myself.

Thanks for joining me on this journey. I hope some of my ponderings and experiences have been of help to you. If so, please leave me a note in the comments!

Just a Small Seed

Start small. But start.

That’s my lesson for this week. As I wrote last time, I’m working through Mystie Winckler’s Humble Habits online course.

This is week one, where our small seed habit is a daily 15-second prayer.  With every habit, we are to attach it to both a trigger (when we will do the habit) and a reward (what we get when we do the habit). You could do this with any change you want to make.

Here is what my prayer habit looks like this week (written on an index card that lives in my bathroom):

Trigger: Going into my bathroom to get ready for the day in the morning.

Prayer: I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; the humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. (Ps. 34:1-3) I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food. (Job 23:12) Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him. (Ps. 34:8)

Reward: deep breath, smile, know that I am starting my morning right; praising God and recognizing that I am blessed.

It feels small and can feel like, “What difference does it make?”

A big difference.

Last week in parenting class at church we talked about the biblical principle that we reap what we sow. Like a small seed that grows into a large, fruitful plant, the small things we do now will bear fruit – of one kind or another.

I really appreciate the emphasis in this course on starting small. I have been able to do this habit each day since Monday, and it’s nice to have victories, however small.

Less is More

This week’s email from Mystie had some very helpful instruction from speaker and author James Clear:

“When you start a new habit, it should take less than two minutes to do…

“It might sound like this strategy is too basic for your grand life goals, but I beg to differ. It works for any goal because of one simple reason: the physics of real life.”

“The 2–Minute Rule works for big goals as well as small goals because of the inertia of life. Once you start doing something, it’s easier to continue doing it. I love the 2–Minute Rule because it embraces the idea that all sorts of good things happen once you get started.”

If I say I only have to do something for one or two minutes, I’m more likely to start it. And if it’s something even somewhat enjoyable, I am more likely to continue doing it for more than two minutes.

This is why I am changing my goals to practice violin and blog for 15 minutes each every weekday (which has been a miserable failure) to practicing and blogging for two minutes each every weekday. I’ll let you know next week how it went.

What about you, what habits are you going to do for less than two minutes at a time this week?

I’m starting something new. Want to join me?

One of the bloggers I follow, Mystie Winckler, is starting a new 6-week course called Humble Habits.  Humble Habits will focus on five small habits, meant to plant small seeds that bear fruit in our lives.

• prayer to feed your soul
• movement to fuel your body
• reading to fill your mind
• self-talk to focus your attitude
• smiling to fortify your relationships

I’m taking the online class and plan to blog about my journey through it. If you want to join me, you can click here – but hurry, the deadline to sign up is Saturday, January 6!

(It’s a great deal at $18 for the class – by the way, I make a small commission when you sign up, but it won’t cost you more to use my link).

Last time I wrote, I talked about how Mystie’s Sweep and Smile course gave me a new perspective on housework. I need to clean up to prepare my space for the next meal or the next gathering. I work to prepare for service. And I take care of myself to prepare for service.

So when she sent a blog post entitled You Need Self-Control, Not Self-Care I cheered (okay, the cheering was mixed with a bit of groaning, knowing there is some work ahead for me). In the post she wrote,

At some level, we know we need to change, but we’d rather that change come after a hot bath or a massage. We think we need a day to ourselves before we can think straight. We think we have to shuttle the kids off, get the house under control, and then everything will be right with the world.

This is me so often. If only I could… and then life won’t be crazy. And there is some truth to this. If I can bring some order to my life, it really does take away some stress. But the answer to bringing order isn’t walking away from what must be done, but walking toward what brings true satisfaction and rest.

What works is a master, choosing us and training us. What works is being forced to give up our own wills and bad habits, trading them in for ones that bring a richer and deeper and more satisfying life than we can imagine…

I’ve known that I need to take care of myself, but I’ve also known that doesn’t always mean doing what is easy or pleasant. And that’s where I get grumpy and whiny, if only on the inside. Sometimes doing what is truly good for us is hard. But it’s good.

What we need more of is not pampering, but discipline to do what truly satisfies.

In fact, the most common self-care practices used to simply be called discipline. They were matters not of treating yourself, and not of letting yourself go, but of keeping yourself on the right path – the path of trusting and obeying God, the path of being ready in season and out to follow and serve. In a word: Virtue…

The habits we need to grow as human beings, whether mothers or not, are simple and straightforward – we already know what they are. We just let our immature selves take the reigns too often – that’s a habit in need of breaking.

Perhaps our generation has lost the discipline of self-care. Deep down, we know we need to take care of ourselves, but we don’t know how anymore. So we look to what the world says we need – a latte, a massage, and day off. Those things aren’t necessarily wrong, but the daily self-care we need is discipline to do harder things that are more satisfying. Those are habits worth cultivating.

Want to join me in Humble Habits? Click here to sign up and then be sure to let me know that you’re on the journey by commenting below or sending me an email at thehopefinder13 at gmail.com.

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